|
Post by frankiewilliams on Oct 7, 2013 15:41:53 GMT
Now this I find extremely hard to do. I love talking on forums and Facebook to other great whovians that cosplay since I find this very easy and feel confident. But as soon as I go to a convention I become really shy and introvert. I don't normally have the guts and courage to go up to other cosplayers and start off a conversation. I really do struggle with this. Even to other cosplayers I might of met a few times before. I so badly wanted to speak to loads of cool people on Saturday at the LFCC but just didn't have the confidence to start a full blown discussion.
Does anyone here have problems when speaking to other fans in cosplay like this?
|
|
|
Post by jjpprob on Oct 7, 2013 15:59:44 GMT
As you know from the private messages we exchanged earlier today, I am the same, although it sounds like you struggle with it more than I do.
For me, internet communication is great. You can contemplate what you're going to say, rather than having to respond instantly as with face to face communication. Because of that, I find it far easier to chat to people online.
In real life, I can get a lot more shy. I tend to go to conventions with a few other friends, and just stick with them. I will speak to others but it tends to just be to ask for a photo of their costume. This LFCC I really came out of my shell I think, and interacted with more people I didn't know than I have before; in fact, Matt probably got sick of me by the end of Sunday! What I found really helped was the photoshoot. Firstly, it got me into a group with a ton of people with a shared interest (though the convention in general already is that on a larger scale). Then after the photos were taken, people hung around in smaller groups chatting, so I sort of hung around with those, and listened for a bit before speaking myself (something you can't do one-on-one really). Evaluate the situation a bit first, if you take my meaning. That gave me more confidence to actually speak.
Another thing I find helps is if I get introduced to somebody by a mutual friend, then it's less awkward - one of my friends, Holly Rose, seems to know the entire cosplaying population of the UK, so I do meet people through her quite often, and it's more comfortable having that familiar face I think.
As I said, I don't think I struggle with it as much as you do, but I really hope that some of what I've said is equally applicable to you. And remember, if someone doesn't seem to want to talk to you, it's probably not that they don't like you, they may be busy, maybe they have to rush to get to a panel, that sort of thing. Most cosplayers I know are the nicest people on the planet; most of them have been low enough on the social ladder at school that they know exactly what it's like, so they won't want to treat you unfairly. On the rare occasion that someone just doesn't want to talk to you, that's not a problem with you, it's a problem with them. Remember, you're awesome. Enjoy being yourself, and others will enjoy being around you.
|
|
|
Post by frankiewilliams on Oct 7, 2013 16:04:18 GMT
Oh yes I find it so much easier when getting introduced to someone as well.
Internet communication is great and I love talking to others about something that I love and makes me happy its just having the guts to go up to someone and talk to them. Mind you I really struggle to talk to people my own age range, I dunno why I have always felt like this. I feel like others my own age range would not be interested in talking to me since I was never really popular at school or college and because I have a low self esteem of myself doesn't help.
I wanted photo from people from here but didn't have the confidence to ask them if they would mind having there photo taken.
The photo of me and Freddy from Elm street, my girlfriend had to ask whether it would be ok for me to have a photo taken on my behalf.
|
|
|
Post by Matt Holden on Oct 7, 2013 18:22:28 GMT
Starting a conversation with a new person can be difficult, it's all a matter of confidence and the best way to build confidence is to repeat an action until it becomes natural. The more you try and the more you push yourself the easir it will become. Interestingly enough lots of people find me intimidating to talk to (I've heard this on a number of occassions), I need to work out what it is that causes this, I always like to think I'm friendly
|
|
|
Post by frankiewilliams on Oct 7, 2013 18:23:53 GMT
Starting a conversation with a new person can be difficult, it's all a matter of confidence and the best way to build confidence is to repeat an action until it becomes natural. The more you try and the more you push yourself the easir it will become. And confidence is what I lack in, greatly when it comes to making friends. Mind you I buckets of confidence if I was to perform on stage in front of loads of people.
|
|
|
Post by Timey on Oct 7, 2013 18:38:13 GMT
Starting a conversation with a new person can be difficult, it's all a matter of confidence and the best way to build confidence is to repeat an action until it becomes natural. The more you try and the more you push yourself the easir it will become. Interestingly enough lots of people find me intimidating to talk to (I've heard this on a number of occassions), I need to work out what it is that causes this, I always like to think I'm friendly But dear God you hug well.
|
|
|
Post by frankiewilliams on Oct 7, 2013 18:42:01 GMT
Starting a conversation with a new person can be difficult, it's all a matter of confidence and the best way to build confidence is to repeat an action until it becomes natural. The more you try and the more you push yourself the easir it will become. Interestingly enough lots of people find me intimidating to talk to (I've heard this on a number of occassions), I need to work out what it is that causes this, I always like to think I'm friendly But dear God you hug well. Was great meeting you Timey.
|
|
|
Post by Timey on Oct 7, 2013 19:14:44 GMT
But dear God you hug well. Was great meeting you Timey. Naturally!! It was awesome meeting you as well. And we'll be cosplaying again together soon, young George!!
|
|
|
Post by frankiewilliams on Oct 7, 2013 19:16:05 GMT
Was great meeting you Timey. Naturally!! It was awesome meeting you as well. And we'll be cosplaying again together soon, young George!! Yeah. I look very much forward to the next occasion.
|
|
|
Post by Timey on Oct 7, 2013 22:26:23 GMT
That will be the 2nd of November, I think George. As for making friends on the scene, it's easier when I'm being The Doctor, it's not so easy when I'm being me.
|
|
|
Post by frankiewilliams on Oct 7, 2013 22:30:41 GMT
That will be the 2nd of November, I think George. As for making friends on the scene, it's easier when I'm being The Doctor, it's not so easy when I'm being me. Oh yes at the Autism All stars event. I look forward to that very much so. I can't act like The Doctor in public as am very worried what people would think of me.
|
|
|
Post by Timey on Oct 7, 2013 22:45:16 GMT
He's my defence mechanism. If I feel worried, or scared, etc etc, default security setting (as it were) is "channel The Doctor". If I'm outside the flat or not with close friends, chances are you'll not be meeting the real Dale that my close friends see. But that's fine, he's a lot more interesting than I am, LOL!!
|
|
|
Post by frankiewilliams on Oct 7, 2013 22:48:57 GMT
He's my defence mechanism. If I feel worried, or scared, etc etc, default security setting (as it were) is "channel The Doctor". If I'm outside the flat or not with close friends, chances are you'll not be meeting the real Dale that my close friends see. But that's fine, he's a lot more interesting than I am, LOL!! I wish I could act like The Doctor at conventions as I do really enjoy performing and acting. I see other people do it, but I don't have the confidence. Now if I was on stage as part of a planned performance, that would be different.
|
|
|
Post by Timey on Oct 7, 2013 22:53:19 GMT
Life's a performance. I just treat it as such.
|
|
|
Post by frankiewilliams on Oct 7, 2013 22:56:36 GMT
Life's a performance. I just treat it as such. Reminds me what Kenneth Williams said once on a documentry about himself in 1983, Comic Roots: "What if life's a joke, well if it is a joke...lets make it a good one" But I do really struggle with confidence issues. Times before when I have decided to act confidently people look at me weirdly.
|
|