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Post by Clara Oswald on Sept 18, 2013 13:50:33 GMT
I have what you might call an "obsessive personality" I get into something hardcore and I stick with it and learn everything I can about it and live day today thinking about it. As I've grown older I've learned to balance my obsessions with the reality of day to day life. Last night my husband came into my craft room after hearing me squwee over a cool whovian item I saw on Facebook and said "I'm worried about you. All you seem to do is obsess over things. I wonder I you would have ever even married me if I hadn't been into Twilight." Ouch! That cut deep. I reassured him that I married him because he's the most amazing man I ever met, loves the Lord just as I do, and his goals were the same as mine, among a thousand other reasons why I married him. But this really got me thinking, when is too much really too much? I must admit, I do tend to go overboard (I have a HUGE Twilight collection which I love muchly, another HUGE Star Wars collection my husband helped me build, a Lord of the Rings book and film collection, and a bunch of Back to the Future memorabilia which I have collected with my husband). I truly thought I had struck a balance in my day to day life, but now, I'm not so sure. But you know also, I'm a BIG owl lover, and by society's standards, that is acceptable, and even come Christmas time, I always receive lots of wonderful owly gifts. So why is my other love of owls okay with people, but my love of certain TV programmes or movies unacceptable? I have a feeling I'm not alone in my feelings here. Of course I'm not seeking to be "normal", normal is boring, but what I am seeking is to figure out why my "obsessions" are unacceptable, or better yet, how do I make myself acceptable to others while still enjoying the things that I do. Thoughts? (By the way, hubby and I are fine. He just worries about me. )
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Post by Matt Holden on Sept 18, 2013 15:36:32 GMT
It's a good question. For me I find I go through phases, I will focus on one thing for a while then move onto something else. Taking an active interest in something is fine, it's what being a fan is (Fan is the short form of Fanatic). The main key is balance, as long as you balance out your fandoms/obsessions then all is good, the problems happen when people can only talk about one thing, speaking from my experience from both cosplay and wargaming there are a few people that can only talk on one topic. So to sum up, it's fine to have an obsession as long as it is doesn't get in the way of life
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Post by Clara Oswald on Sept 18, 2013 16:30:13 GMT
Yes, that was my feeling about it. I was recently having a conversation with a parent who was concerned for their child as all he talks about is Minecraft and I voiced a similar opinion. It does become hard when someone you love feels left out I guess. My Hubby is very supportive, but he dislikes Doctor Who, yet loves Star Wars, Back to the Future, and Iron Man, as well as many other fandoms. He just doesn't get as "obsessed" with them as I do so often I don't think he connects. I dunno
Anyone else have any other thoughts?
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Post by frankiewilliams on Sept 18, 2013 16:50:35 GMT
Well I know I get very obsessive about Doctor Who. I don't have a tardis police box in my back garden or a console in my flat. I do love collecting.
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Post by frankiewilliams on Sept 18, 2013 16:59:48 GMT
I mean I know I post a lot on this forum and have made a lot of threads but as I said to the admin on this forum I am trying to start off different discussions to make more people talk to each other. Also without me emailing the admin you wouldn't have the smilies to use on this forum. I don't want people think im overly obsessive on being on this forum but am trying to start new threads to make more discussion and the admin said thats fine.
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Post by Torchwood TeaBoy on Sept 18, 2013 18:00:21 GMT
I will openly admit I'm obsessed with Doctor Who and Torchwood to anyone, and have had some crazy obsessions in the past, but I also know how to disconnect from them and return to reality. I think that might be the tipping point of an obsession. If you can't ground or re-ground yourself in reality, or can't find a way to relate to real life or people in any way OTHER than your obsession, you might have a problem. I've seen people who are overly obsessed with a sports team or a band, but don't face nearly as much flack or societal concern for it. It's all part of being a nerd and a fan. Wil Wheaton said it best about why being a nerd is awesome:
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Post by Doctor Who Cosplay on Sept 18, 2013 18:05:02 GMT
I mean I know I post a lot on this forum and have made a lot of threads but as I said to the admin on this forum I am trying to start off different discussions to make more people talk to each other. Also without me emailing the admin you wouldn't have the smilies to use on this forum. I don't want people think im overly obsessive on being on this forum but am trying to start new threads to make more discussion and the admin said thats fine. Don' worry George, all is good. Going back to Sarah's original question, the key has to be moderation. Obsession is fine as long as it's not at the expense of all else. Our passions are what help define us as people. Sometimes peoples perceptions alter based on what your obsesseion is (ie Trainspotters have a different rep to life long sports fans). So basically, don't worry having a passion is fine
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Post by frankiewilliams on Sept 18, 2013 18:40:59 GMT
Read about a young Doctor Who fan who died and had his coffin painted like the tardis. People were dressed as monsters and the theme music was played when the coffin brought out. Instead of a speech quotations from the show was read out. Im a fan of Doctor Who but wouldn't go that far.
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Post by Matt Holden on Sept 18, 2013 22:23:25 GMT
Tardis coffins are quite common (relatively speaking), I've heard of a few. If someone has a love and passion for something it should be celebrated
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Post by Timey on Sept 19, 2013 17:44:59 GMT
Oh, I'm a complete Who nerd, and I see no reason not to be. It's not just Doctor Who, there's also Superman, Wonder Woman, and yes, I love Twilight. I love most vampire-related things, and whilst sparkly vampires are hardly Lord of the Rings standard of writing and production, (there's my newest obsession!) they're easy films to watch and easy books to read. Oh, and I collect Hoovers, and TARDISes. A lot of my obsessive traits can be explained via Aspergers - in fact a lot of my life generally is easy to understand when you know about that particular "syndrome". And you know what? I'm glad I'm like this. Doctor Who has gotten me through some VERY dark times, as has Superman, and I completely rejoice in being a geek and being able to find such happiness and fun in life. If it hurts no-one, and you love it, then embrace it. And I DO have a full size TARDIS in the lounge. And K-9. And a WHOLE lot more.
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Post by frankiewilliams on Sept 19, 2013 17:52:02 GMT
Oh yes I have Aspergers as well and my girlfriend is on the spectrum and loves superman. She is a huge superman fan.
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Post by Timey on Sept 19, 2013 18:20:04 GMT
Oh yes I have Aspergers as well and my girlfriend is on the spectrum and loves superman. She is a huge superman fan. I know I'm in great company, and your girlfriend obviously has amazing taste!!
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Post by frankiewilliams on Sept 19, 2013 18:23:49 GMT
Oh yes I have Aspergers as well and my girlfriend is on the spectrum and loves superman. She is a huge superman fan. I know I'm in great company, and your girlfriend obviously has amazing taste!! She loves SmallVille. Have you watched it? Because my girlfriend is not on the forum she would like it if you could speak on facebook to her? Private message me for more details so I don't hi-jack this thread and change topic.
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Post by Clara Oswald on Sept 19, 2013 18:48:18 GMT
Wow what a blessing! It is an honour to meet more people with Asperger's, as my brother also has it as well. I tell him everyday that I wish I had his mind, as he is one of the smartest people I know. Every person I have met with Asperger's has been SUCH an incredible person, and each one has blessed me deeply. I am now even MORE glad I joined this board!!!
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Post by Ace McShane on Sept 19, 2013 19:16:11 GMT
I have Aspergers and like to say I'm impressed with how people like George and me self can be confident to do cosplay even I feel worried think that I would be look at oddly as Ace is normally played by a girl but then when I see girls playing as the 11th and such I'm not so bothered that and i meet Mrs Aldred herself and she loved the jacket and would loved to do more as a cosplayer as such like fan film's as I love to have a job in the tv and film industry . As well I like to think that we as cosplayers are trailblazers that want to take away the normal monday life and step into the shoes of the people we would like think we are in shot taking thing to a new level.
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